Confederate time capsule currently being fought over between the city of Orlando, Florida and a local chapter of the Daughters of the Confederacy (News 6/Screenshot)

In 1911, a monument was erected in Orlando, Florida in honor of the Confederate traitors who fought to uphold slavery in the South. This week that monument was moved from its prominent position (despite protests from local losers) to a nearby cemetery, but the controversy hasn’t died away yet. A local chapter of the Daughters of the Confederacy wants to take possession of the monument’s time capsule.

The monument was funded by local Confederate sympathizers in 1911, and was subsequently donated to the city. But the Daughters of the Confederacy group now says that just because a bunch of their racist ancestors paid for the monument, they should have custody of the time capsule that was hidden beneath it.

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“I think personally, because we put it there, that it should be given to us and then we can decide what we want to do with it,” one elderly loser from the Daughters of the Confederacy told the local news in Orlando.

The time capsule hasn’t been opened yet, but it’s believed to contain a Confederate battle flag, some Confederate money, and a framed photo of the traitor Robert E. Lee. There may even be some kind of certificate or bond inside as well.

Questions surrounding the ownership of time capsules can be tricky, especially when they’re buried on government property, as was the case here. But the monument was donated to the city and stood in Orlando for over a century. From a legal perspective, the Daughters of the Confederacy have no claim to the time capsule.

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I think in this case we should take a lesson from King Solomon. Cut everything inside the time capsule in half and give half to the city and half to the Daughters of the Confederacy. Or, better yet, cut everything into a million pieces so that everyone who still believes that the Confederacy stood for anything but slavery and oppression can have a piece. It seems only fair.

[News 6]